My Deal with the Awareness Practice

          Hello Guys, Today I am gonna share my experience with the practice of being aware.
I began watching and observing my mind 1 year ago and since then I have become quite aware of all the negative thought patterns. Now the deal here is that, being aware as a practice is okay till we get inspired or feel god to be aware of our mind.However if this practice is extended too long, it becomes suffocating and highly uninspiring.And this is when you have to let go of this practice and just live,pure raw living.

        Now why do we far to let go of the practice of being aware???This is a critical question, and the simple answer is we feel afraid of the brunt of anxiety when we let go of techniques and practices that we use to manipulate our mind. Now, I myself have started letting go of being aware and I can sense anxiety and a sense of freedom at the same time.I wonder what is in store for me in the days coming....

The Dynamics of Mind

     Mind's nature is that it is always volatile.Mind is never stable and it is always swinging between different emotions,thoughts and sensations.After about 1 year of trying to figure out what letting go is, I have come to the conclusion through trial and error that it is best to allow the movement and volatile nature of mind without fearing the bad feelings, sensations and thoughts that it creates.
      So how to do this??The answer is there is no answer.You really cant figure out what the right way is.Even doing it wrong is the right way because you learn through it.In my experience, I think it is best to be flexible in allowing the mind and its movement.And you have to get involved and allow the dynamics.Its not a passive process.
      Currently I am in an extremely negative reality and I am facing bouts of depression, inferiority and worthlessness.But I am willing to see the limits of these feelings and I am allowing them fully.One thing I have totally understood that you cant attain peace through mind, its always chaotic, swinging between polarities.However this does give us an opportunity to find peace beyond it.